ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize