my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
