I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
