This girl is more easily done than said...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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