Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize