My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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