I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
