If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
