As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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