So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
