Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You smell like stripper and shame
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
