look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize