We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
