Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
