I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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