Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
