You made me cry and you don't even care
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
