The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
