Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
