I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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