Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
