Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
This toilet bowl is my home.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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