Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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