Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
