Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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