I like to think it a success when the cops are called
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
