so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
