I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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