The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
