we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
