Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
