If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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