I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
