no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize