You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize