Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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