everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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