Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
