I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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