So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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