Small penises have feelings too.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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