Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
