Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize