I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
