Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize