HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize