is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
