quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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