I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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