If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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