apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
