We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
