apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
