I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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