Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
