the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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