And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
