I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You can't special order awesome
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
