I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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