More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
id be glad to
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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