do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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