is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
