Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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