yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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