Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
