From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
