Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
