too bad you live with your parents still
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
How's work?
Spinning.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
