I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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