The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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