Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
