so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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