its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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