He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
