Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
